A Georgia Angel

I cannot tell a joke to save my life.  It doesn’t run in my family, although both my parents are very social, but jokes, no.  My mama, she loves to tell jokes and tell funny stories, but most of the time she is giggling so hard, it takes her forever to tell the funny story.  And, then, of course, her giggling is so infectious, that you can’t help but laugh, no matter if the story is really funny or not.  Me, I think I’m going to keep my day job.

I have been posting a lot of somber things on my blogs lately, and I decided that I needed to tell something funny.  It’s a pattern in my life, actually.  I quit watching comedy shows on TV, and don’t even like watching comedic movies anymore, well, except for maybe romantic comedies.  I did go to see Paul Blart:  Mall Cop at the theater, and I did enjoy it.

Here are two funny things that happened to me and Mama, and the irony is that they both happened at the same place, just different times.  The first was about a year or so ago, I went with  my elderly aunt and Mama to Chili’s restaurant.  Now, you have to understand first that my mother and her sisters are true bred southern girls.  Mama, she’s got the bling goin’ on, with the matching jewelry and accessories, her hair is just perfect, and she is always dressed to a “T”.  You think I’m jokin’ about the bling?  Mama went to the ladies’ room just before we got ready to leave Chili’s, and she came back saying that she just saw Elvis finishing a meal at the bar.  I did not think she was serious.  I thought she was just funnin’ us because my 5 year old was with us.  But she was dead serious (even though she was trying not to crack up), and lo and behold, here he was coming towards our table.  Elvis, in his white, rhinestone jumpsuit, sunglasses, black hair.   My jaw hit the floor.  Of course, he was an impersonator, and a good one, too.  Mama had stopped to admire his “bling”, and he admired her “bling”.  There was a regular ol’ bling fest going on.  She told him she was there with her sister, her daughter, and her granddaughter, and he told us that he just had to come over and see if the rest of the family was just as pretty as she was.  Of course, we are <smirk>, and he wasn’t disappointed…  lol.  After he left, I was finally able to scrape my jaw up off the floor.  Now, those of you who KNOW my mother, you better scrape your jaw off the floor too, you’ll let the flies in.  True story.

The other funny thing happened just recently when she and I were having lunch at the same restaurant.  It was after one of my recent doctor’s appointments, and we were sneaking in a fast lunch before I had to go back to work.  We usually share the chicken fingers meal.  I eat the corn on the cob and half the chicken, with a side salad, and she eats the other half of the chicken with the fries.  It tides us both over until dinner time, and it’s a cheap lunch for both of us since we split the cost of the meal.  Anyway, It wasn’t really what happened to us that was so funny, it was what we SAW…  I can only attempt to demonstrate…

Can you believe it?   A waitress was walking around with a fork in her back pocket.  The damage that fork could do just boggles the mind.  You would think that one of the patrons or the manager or a co-worker would have said something to her?  Well, I guess we could have, but it was more entertaining watching her walk around with this fork stuck in her back pocket.  It wasn’t like it was one that had been picked up off the floor, then she had her hands full and stuck it in her pocket on the way to the kitchen.  No, she walked around the entire time we were there with that fork stuck in her back pocket.  You know how you walk around all day with a piece of broccoli stuck between your teeth? And nobody tells ya?  That’s what that must have felt like when she realized what she had done.  IF she hadn’t already destroyed a piece of upholstery with it.  OR worse, you don’t think she gave it to a customer?

It’s true that we don’t know what we’ve got until we lose it, but it’s also true that we don’t know what we’ve been missing until it arrives.
© 2004 Cool Funny Quotes

So, that’s about as funny as I can get.  Here are a few REAL funny stand-up comedians that I enjoy and I thought I would share them with you.

Southern Comedian and Farmer - Jerry Carroll

And, then, of course, I was raised listenin’ to Jerry Clower.

A Coon Huntin’ Story

One of my favorite comedians is Brett Butler.

I want to hear your funny story this week, care to share?

Current Mood: Playful

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