A Georgia Angel

I really hate going to meetings, seriously, I dread it with every fiber of my being.  I hate making small talk and meeting  strangers.  I always have that awkward end of conversation thing going on, where I don’t know whether to just walk away, or say, it’s been lovely talking to you.  My theory is…  I was born breech, so I’m always getting everything backwards.  LOL.

But I have to make myself do it, especially to be an advocate for my child.

Tonight, there was a meeting for the parents of children receiving “services” in the public school system in our county.  I took Leah with me, which made my dread even worse, because I cannot get her to shush, because she is only 5, and we don’t do this kind of thing very often.  But I saw a mini-me when we were walking up to the door.  She was telling me she didn’t want to go and she wasn’t going to like it, and even asked to stay in the car.  When taking that step up onto the porch, she visibly and audibly gulped and said “here goes”.  I told her it was going to be fine, and she just had to sit still and be quiet for me to attend the meeting.

It was quite embarrassing when I walked in.  The coordinator asked me if I was the one that emailed with the child from R. Elementary School.  I drew a blank… I couldn’t believe it.  I couldn’t remember the name of the school she goes  to.  She has been to 4 schools since she was 3 (she will be 6 in a few weeks), and I’m constantly getting them all mixed up.  And, of course, Leah was no help.  She just said I go to “Kindergarten”.

There were about 7 parents there, plus the autism teacher, and the parent coordinator.  Most of the children had autism, speech delays, there was 1 with Cerebral Palsey and 1 with Down’s.  Leah was the only one with a rare genetic disorder.  All of the children were ages from pre-k to middle school.  I don’t think there were any there that are in high school yet.  Each mom was asked to tell their most difficult challenge and give a tip for the other parents.  Most everybody agreed, other people was their challenge, and the tip was just to breathe, and take it day by day.  All of them pretty much had a history of trying to do it all on their own, without seeking any support from others.

This was the first meeting of the 2nd year of the parent partnership, but I really didn’t feel that there were any real friendships formed from the parents that were around last year.  That didn’t leave me with quite a warm and fuzzy feeling.  But I’m always oversensitive to that type of thing.  If I don’t click with someone right away,  I’m kindof a “snob”… or so I’m told.  I know it appears that way, but I am extremely and painfully shy and, awkward, as I mentioned before.  One thing that has always been a barrier for me is that I’ve always been so much older than everyone else.

One thing the coordinator mentioned that I was pleased to hear was that her oldest child is 10 years old, she’s been through many, many IEPs, many experts, and she still learned something new from the guest speakers they had last year.  A couple other things that were mentioned…  1) the local civitan club is interested in providing some activities for not only the children, but the siblings too; 2) Monkey Joe’s will continue to be free year round from 6-8 pm every 3rd Tuesday of the month, just for the children; 3) smaller groups could be formed for more specific needs; and 4) there won’t be that many restrictions by the county, “the sky is the limit”.  All in all, I thought it was a very interesting meeting, but next time… I gotta get a babysitter.

I did connect with one of the moms out in the parking lot.  I had remarked that when I moved to this county, that I had researched the surrounding counties and their public school systems, especially regarding their developmental programs.  Some counties, there were no programs at all, and the other larger county nearby…  I refuse to live there.  But I kept hearing that this county is the best in the state, it’s the place to be for the types of services that Leah requires.  This other mother commended me for my diligence and doing the research and being an advocate for my child.  I finally found somebody that I “clicked” with.  Turns out, she had her son when she was 35.  That caught my interest.  We exchanged phone numbers and email addresses, and I “gasp” invited her to go to breakfast one morning.  I don’t know where I got the courage.  LOL.

I was already musing on the drive over that the rules in the school are so strict about giving birthday invitations to the teacher’s for the students.  It makes it really difficult to include those little ones when I don’t know anybody.  I wish there was something like a little Kindergarten parent social so that those mothers could introduce themselves to each other, especially in a setting where we didn’t have children hanging around our coattails, or rushing in and out the door, or attending a school event.  Some of these parents we are going to know all the way up through the high school years, and it would be nice to start getting to know each other sooner.

As I was driving home, my brain was whirling in a tizzy…  okay, parent social.  That sounds good.  But all those mothers tonight at that meeting just sounded so mentally tired, and feeling like it’s them against the world.  They needed a “pamper” party.  I could invite them all over to my house, and each could bring a little pamper gift, even if they only got it at the $1 store, and then we could draw for prizes (everybody would get one).   Then it could grow into having a foot “spa” event, or a hand “spa” event, or a “facial”.  We could start the introductions with telling one story about your child, good, bad, a traumatic surgery experirence, something recent, something past, and it would be timed, say only a couple minutes.  Then, that’s it, no more “special needs child” talk.  The rest of the time should be spent talking about things we like to do, or where we are from, or places we like to go.  A mental break from the worry and stress of the daily caregiving.  I think it could work…  sigh…. I’ll never get any sleep now.  I don’t have any intentions of doing this, but I’m just liable to open my big mouth and say, “hey, what about a…?”  GRRRR.  I’ve already volunteered to be on the parent partnership council.  What was I thinking?

I have to admit that I am looking forward to next month’s meeting.  Maybe it will be easier for me.

Current Mood: Happy

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