A Georgia Angel

Today, I lost my best friend.  I haven’t known my friend for that long, a little over a year maybe, but a close, dear friend nonetheless.  Someone I will cherish forever, but  never be close to again.  I did not lose this friend to death, which might be easier to handle, but I lost my friend through a series of mistakes on both our parts.  A “comedy of errors” if you will.  I don’t see any hope of reclaiming the relationship, and it’s sad, very sad.  I know my friend is hurting too, and I’m so very sorry.  If I could ease the pain, I would.  Good luck to you and best wishes, my friend, my heart.

As if that wasn’t bad enough, I had a follow-up doctor’s appointment this morning.  I drove an hour and a half to get there, they took the vitals (temp of 99.2) and drew blood.  Then I promptly fell asleep on the table.  The doctor comes in, not for the first time finding me curled up, asleep on the table, but wants to know what is going on.  So I just flat out said, “I’m tired, so very tired”.  I sleep from 8 pm at night until 6 am in the morning, and I want to sleep all day.  It makes me grumpy and irritable, it makes me not want to do anything, and it seems as if the more sleep I get, the more I want.  I can’t take a short nap because I can’t seem to come out of it and shake it off.  My arms and legs feel heavy and I can’t move.  So I answered all the questions…  do you snore?  do you wake up frequently with sore throats?  do you wake up gagging or choking?  do you wake up with a dry mouth?  do you kick or thrash your legs?  do you have vivid dreams?  do you feel like you constantly have to move your legs to get comfortable?  do you feel like your skin on your legs is crawling?  do you have to fight sleep?  does it come on suddenly?  do you feel like you are in a daze?  do you fall asleep while reading?  do you fall asleep while watching tv?  do you get sleep when driving long distances?  do you fall asleep as a passenger on long trips?    Those are only some of the questions and I pretty much answered yes to all of them, except if I snored.  I don’t know.  I don’t have anybody to tell me if I snore.  The doctor is mumbling …hypersomnia, paralytic sleep, narcolepsy, it’s not a side effect to the Lyrica because you aren’t taking enough of it.  Depression?  maybe, but not likely.  You say you are sleeping all night and that you are sleeping good?  Yes, yes.  If I take the ambien, I don’t wake up during the night.  The doctor is shaking his head saying “this is not normal and something is terribly wrong.”  Yes, I want to scream, I’ve lost my best friend.  Oh, much better now.  Ahem.  Now, where was I?  Oh yes, the doctor says I’m going to start with a sleep study and that may tell me something.  What’s really weird about all this is that several months ago, and for years this had been happening, but I couldn’t sleep at all at night.  I would stay awake until 2 or 3 am because I couldn’t get my brain to shut down.  The doctor gave me ambien and it works but I still sometimes have to force myself to go lay down at night.  Weird.

Oh, and as a side note, I’m hungry.  I’m hungry all the time, and when I eat, I eat huge platefuls and I eat it all, and I’m still not satisfied.  I’m not having extreme weight gain, but I have gained quite a bit of weight since the beginning of the year, probably close to 14 pounds, maybe?  That is disturbing to me.  I’m also having another symptom, and I really don’t know how to describe it.  It’s not dizziness, but it’s like I’m having a spell (no, not a magic spell), but something passes through the front part of my skull, above my eyes.  At first, these “spells” were coming in very short bursts, but now they are occurring in longer waves.  He didn’t make any real comments about these symptoms, but he was steadily taking notes.

I go back to the see the doctor in 2 weeks and I’ve got to have a sleep study done between now and then.   So what’s the problem you may ask?  My schedule is the problem.   Between now and October 24th, my daughter has a pediatrician appointment, a pre-op hospital appointment, and a dental surgery.  My mama is having a colonoscopy, which for anyone else is a normal procedure, but for her, is not.  My daughter and I are going to have at least five chiropractic appointments.  I have a parent-teacher meeting, three after school field trips, and I have to come up with a 50′s costume for Leah by October 15.   That does not include the Wings & Wheels Car show (my son will be participating), the Mossy Creek Festival, and the Georgia National Fair.  Am I complaining?  Yes, I am.  I know, there’s nothing that can be done about it, but I’m complaining anyway.  I want to sleep, I want to sleep for a week, a month, please just let me sleep.

I’m complaining and I’m sad, but at the same time, I’m thankful.  The good news is that I have connected with another mom locally.  Her and her husband are the parents of one of the little boys in Leah’s class.   They also have a 4 year old daughter.  They moved here from Las Vegas just before school started.  I’m thankful because it appears we have become fast friends.  Her kids aren’t special needs, they are just ordinary every day kids, and they love Leah already, and she loves them in return.  We went over to their house on Saturday, only planning on staying for about an hour or so, and wound up staying almost 3 hours, I think.  And we talked on the phone for an hour and a half the other night.  They are a quirky family, but very friendly and very kind. and I have enjoyed getting to know them.

Okay, I’m getting drowsy now, I’m falling asleep, oh noooooooooo

Current Mood: Sad

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